Sense of self: fear

There’s something that’s been on my mind as of late. Fear.

And unfortunately, fear as it relates to the very thing I’m doing now: blogging.

I’ve always been afraid of being in public, in all honesty. I don’t like people looking at me, I don’t like multiple eyes on me, and I sure fear the possibility of someone figuring me out. That’s why I’m scared. I don’t want to be figured out. And I especially I don’t want to be thought about by people who think they know who I am, but don’t. Whether it be my past friends, family members who’ve just barely touched the surface of who I am as a person.. there’s something extremely discomforting of having their eyes on me. And I fear that this fear will stop me from living authentically.

Yep, I fear my fear.

I know I shouldn’t let it control me, filter me, or stop me. But there’s a whole lot of comfort that comes with hiding in my shell, and I’m just not ready to give that up.

But I’ll try. I have to.

 

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